The first woman denied and obfuscated and gaslighted to the bitter end. The last communication with that one was a textbook example. IF I thought she had done it on purpose, it would have been brilliantly cruel. But alas - I have come to believe it was mere laziness. I completely doubt any assertion it was well-intentioned.
The thing for me is that even though I read about their techniques and can identify them - I still wanted the woman to admit she did X to get me to do/feel/etc Y. And Y was never my response - usually my response was frustrated rage at how badly she failed. It always seemed to me like she was simply treating me like a moron both in the technique and because I did not see how Y would help at all - I wanted the explanation about how Y was supposed to help me in the way I wanted help.
That she was not harmful during my person's illness and death is simply because she could not be - I paid her less attention than usual. Even she could not make that situation worse nor could she humiliate me over how I felt about it. I don't recall her doing the techniques then - but I am sure she did - it was that nothing she did or said (I cannot remember a single thing about the therapist int that time period) registered. It was only more recently that I started seeing that she was talking and treating me like a slack-jawed yokel again - and so I quit.