So I mentioned in a previous post that a friend, who see med to be very controlling, or at least tried to be, just stopped initiating contact with me and bailed out of several plans by making up lame and fishy excuses only to find out she decided to hang out with someone else. I am hurt a bit since I wish she hadn’t been like that and hoped she would have been better tjan other people in the past. But I was wrong. I shouldn’t have trusted her. She would get mad if she got the vibe I didn’t trust her. I told her I did trust her but I secretly think she was just hiding her true colors.

She may reply in short replies if I text her first but even then conversations are just superficial and she cuts off the conversations abruptly. She used to do that back when I first met her but didn’t think much of it since we didn’t know each other well. She didn’t start talking to me more until she started having relationship problems. Now, four years later, she is back in a new relationship and back to not talking to me much. I understand she is in a relationship but I noticed she still makes time for her other best friend from high school but has cut off basically anyone else she knew from college.

So I have decided to stop contacting her. Let her initiate contact. In fact, I’ll bet you a hundred dollars she will come running back should her new relationship begin to go south. I think I was right, as well, other people, all along. It was that way all along and I ignored the signs. A big mistake. Do you think the right decision is to officially cut contact? Do you think she was a fake friend all along? Do you believe she only talked to me out of boredom since she really started talking to me more when she started having problems with her first relationship? Now I know for a fact that she also hated it when I would go visit her back when she was still in college after I graduated.

We are both graduated now but there was a year and half where I she was still in college after I graduated and when I would ask if she wanted to hang out, she would say yes but then after hanging out, another male friend would tell me that she was constantly talking about me and saying I was clingy. At first I thought he was making it up but I am starting to think he may have been telling the truth. She would say he was making it up but she may have been lying since I was always the on initiating plans to hang out.

She could have easily said no and I didn’t visit a lot. And the fact that she feels the need to call me clingy or insecure when she is actually way worse makes me think she is just not wanting to accept responsibility. I have casually rekindled another friendship who I have mentioned before. And this current friend who cut me off treated the other friend the same way. Just cut her off without giving a crap. Makes me think this friend may think of other friends as disposable. Except for her best friend since she will get mad if her best friend bails out or tells her how it is.

The friendship I cautiously rekindled seems to be better than the friendship I had with this other friend at this point. I am very cautious about the friendship I rekindled but I actually feel like I can trust the friend I started talking to again more than the friend that came off as controlling and just cut me off. That is saying something. And I may have mentioned this before, but the reason this friend’s first relationship didn’t work out was becsuse she became very clingy and tried to control him as well. So I think it is best that she wasn’t in my life.

To answer a question in a previous thread, the reason I still feel hurt in a way is because even though I knew she would eventually cut me off and that she was very hypocritical and came off as controlling, I was hopong she would change. And also she remained in contact with me for four years so I actually thought that maybe she actually did like me as a friend but I was probably wrong. She may have just saw me as a convenience friend and only liked me as an acquaintance. I hoped she would change, but it never happened. In that case, I think it is time for me to give up on the friendship.

I am not the kind of person to tell someone to not talk to me again. That is really hard for me to do. Someone has to do something absolutely terrible, like commit a crime or something, for me to get to that point. Not only would I feel bad but you never know if you will need to speak to the person again and it could cause conflict. So I decided that it would be best to just let her take the initiative from now on. She probably won’t but at least I won’t be constantly initiating contact. She used to initiate contact way more but then suddenly stopped. I feel like the best thing now is to focus on other people. Do you think she may have just saw me as a convenience friend all along? I sometimes wonder that. In the long run, it may actually be better if she no longer wants to talk to me.