Welcome to the forums, taybaby!
You're not worthless. That sounds like the lie that lying beastie depression tells. Don't believe it.

I wanted to respond to that part right away, though I'm not in a great spot for attempting to answer the whole question (I'm on a bus, and it's a bumpy ride, lol -- much backspacing to fix spelling(!)) Hopefully others will pop in in the meanwhile to give some answers from their experiences.

(Also, my dx got changed to BP 1 from 2, and I'm not sure when it happened or exactly why. There's a certain amount of subjectivity when you have different people assessing the same situation...I'll admit I can be a tricky call between the two of them, lol.))