((((((Arbie))))))

I am sorry you're feeling so down on yourself. I hope that you don't stay there (in that mind space) for long. I'm sure you have a lot to be proud of yourself for.

I'm reading a book about self esteem, that says self worth has nothing to do with externals (how much you make, how clean you keep your house, how often or how much you work, what you look like, whether you're disabled or not, how high or low your education is, etc etc etc). It is internal. Everyone has the same worth. No one is better than anyone else. And everyone is worthy and awesome in their own way. Even if they feel they have nothing awesome about them. It's called The Self Esteem Workbook, in case you might be interested.

I myself really struggle with self esteem issues and insecurity, and while it fluctuates, it's most usually there in some form. The way I'm healing myself and the way I see myself, is to slowly change my thoughts about myself. I think there are other things one can do to. But I just wanted to tell you I hear you. I feel that way about myself not having a job.