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Maven · Nov 30, 2017, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justafriend306

Maven, this is a difficult response to hear, I know, but it must be said. Your boyfriend is part of the problem. He is what is called an enabler. And yes, this is a form of abuse. Someone, quite frankly, needs to intervene. You both need some help. This is a mental health issue. In some communities there are supports available for just such a situation and need. The start though is to do something about this relationship. It sounds to me like you might be hanging onto your boyfriend in the very same manner you are hanging onto things. The breaking an emotional attachment to things may very well need to start with him.

So reach out to your mental health association and see if there is an agency that can help you with the clean up. Sometimes fire departments can offer assistance with this.

Set some goals - small ones. instead of thinking that you have so much more to do, celebrate the fact that by accomplishing whatever you did on one day took you a step away from how things were.

In the meantime, take some of the earlier advice on how to do a search for a new accommodation situation. Finding a new place is an opportunity to start on fresh ground. But, realise that this won't solve the issue; that, you need treatment else this is all going to happen again.

You're right, that we both need treatment. However, I don't stay with him because of an emotional attachment. I care about him, but I'm not in love with him. I asked about seeing a couples counselor, and he turned and left my room, saying, "I don't need counseling."

One thing you and others aren't understanding is, I'm not avoiding picking up the trash because the amount is overwhelming. If I touch even one bit of trash, I'm dirty all over and will need a shower before I can go to bed, plus there's the dust everywhere. I can't shower because the bathtub is being used to hold our toilet paper and other essentials, so the cats don't pee or poop on them,or knock them on the floor. I am not able to repeat cleaning and showering every day, because I struggle to use the bathroom, let alone do a lot of physical work. I sometimes have to sit down and rest a few minutes before I can go back and wash my hands. And once I get in the bed again, I'm not fully clean anymore.

I have spoken with a social worker. I gave her my insurance info, and she's going to get back to me. I'm using 211 resources, and my doctor is helping me because he thinks the house is having an effect on my health.

In the meantime, the social worker is going to help me find a home, programs to help me get food, medical care and everything I need.