Wow.....thanks again for your replies and support
My nurse has helped me.....but he has also caused me some pain too. For example - the time when he arrived an hour earlier than he said he would....I'd popped to the shops.....so instead of waiting until the appointed time, he just posted some dressings and a note through my letterbox and went away. When I got home from the shop and found a note and a bag of dressings on the floor......and realised that I wasn't going to have his one to one support that day, I was very upset. He apologised, but the damage was done. He had no valid reason to come an hour early, he knew he was early....I just don't understand it. This is the same man that takes me to the pub and we play pool and have a laugh But on Xmas eve he visited me and told me he didn't get me a Xmas card because he didn't think I'd be bothering with Xmas because I was on my own. I'd sent him a card the week before and he phoned to thank me for it, so he knew I was bothering with Xmas. (My Support Worker sent me a card.....the only one I received this year) I spent the rest of Xmas eve crying and wondering how he could think so little of me to be so hurtful on Xmas eve. AGAIN, he apologised and said he regretted his actions.....but the damage is done.
He visits me weekly and phones me every week day in between but I'm getting really wound up before the appointments because I fear he'll do or say something to upset me again. I've already stopped seeing the surgery nurses to dress my self harm injuries and dress them myself because I got sick of being 'tutted' at or asked why I did it in a patronising manner. So my nurse supplies me with dressings. I'm learning the hard way that just because they are trained healthcare professionals it doesn't necessarily mean they are perfect and get it right. It's maybe ok if people make mistakes when dealing with someone who has a boil on their bottom.....but this is an illness that deals with life and death - and carelessness can do some real damage.
Anyway.....my nurse is coming to see me today at 1.30pm. I really don't want to see him......but I know I should. I have to be a good little compliant mental patient don't I?

*Steps down from soapbox and heads for the bath to try to get rid of 'crazy lady hair'*

P.S - I haven't self harmed in 15 days !!!