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Old Nov 30, 2017, 09:18 PM
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rodza_sky rodza_sky is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 24
Hi guys, i think i'll create a separate thread instead of bumping my old one, but you can find it here https://forums.psychcentral.com/schi...d-dub-qna.html

Long story short
Basically i am an anxious person with current health anixiety that dramatically increased with the death of my mother, i have gone through multiple fears of different diseases and at some point i started thinking "what if what i have is a schiz and my hypochondriac fears are delusions"? Ever since then i was super scared of Schiz. It took me a lot of googling to figure it out, but i had a basic understanding of what i have and why my condition is at least questionable to call schiz
I've read a lot of articles and posted on a lot of fourms until i found one where i consulted with a supposed certified specialist (it was online, so who knows how professional he is) who told me that i definitely just have anixiety. So whatever, right i kinda calmed down

Later on, few weeks ago i learned that my biological father with whom i don't live was diagnosed with F20 Schiz. He was diagnosed around the age of 43, plus minus. So now i am super afraid of inheriting the disease

And talking to that doctor guy, i've figured that what i've had were definitely not delusions, since in the condition the believes are so severe that people are given the medicine to get rid of them, which i definitely dont need. There are other ways to convince me i was wrong.
After i told that doc guy "yeah, thanks, i feel better about delusions now" he said that i am in the hypochondrical cycle and that i will soon find something else to worry about, and there it goes.

Literally the next day i first started thinking of unusual believes and then started suspecting i was hearing voices. 4 days ago i was 100% sure that i've had no voices Over the last 3 days i've had 2 incidences, both of which could be explained by something else, since i was not completely alone.

I work retail and the day before yesterday when closing and looking if everyone left, in the supposedly empty of customers store for a second i thought i've heard voices somewhere far away, like some sort of murmur and it felt like "ah, what was that?",like when you though you heard something for a sec, but unsure what was that. But i was super tired (after an 8 hour shift) and there was lots of noise in the building, such as conditioner, radio, animals screaming (i work at petco) and it later turned out that there were janitors in the building who maybe were talking to each other. And later on i tested and it turned out that i could recreate the exact same sound in my head and stop it whenever i want by another thought or by starting doing something else and thinking about it, so maybe it even was myself thinking of what to look, imagining it and getting scared of my own imagination for a second since i was super tired and not thinking straight

The second case was yesterday, and it would be also possible to explained by something else. I was ringing the person up and i've heard someone say "s**t!" right by my ear, like not addressing me, but like if someone said it to themselves/ the sound was coming from outside and was not inside of my head and it was coming from the direction of a person standing by me and there were 2 more people within my hand reach who could've said it. I did ask my coworker about it later on (and looked very stupid btw) but he said he heard nothing, but also he maybe didnt even get what i was talking about or he maybe wasnt paying attention, whatever. So that could be explained by assuming that some of the people that stood close to me had said it and from what i understood, its more common for schizophrenics to hear voices inside their head.

So what i wanted to know is, if there is no clear evidence that there is a voice in my head and what i hear could be explained by something else, i shouldn't yet be bothered by it right or at least not assume that what i have are the voices? Meaning if i was sitting alone and had a voice is one thing, but another is when there is at least semi-reasonable explanation right? How do people feel their voices?

Also there is a thing of me now expecting a voice to pop up at some point and i am super afraid.

Thanks, i've been trying to look for a specialist, but received no responses yet
Hugs from:
DowdyTheFifth, Sunflower123