Hugs to you. I don't have time for a long response right now but I did want to let you know that I totally share your feelings. My last therapy session was all about this same topic. I absolutely hate Christmas and the holidays Christmas music makes me cry and all of the media hype and the commercials and the tv specials and the ads and the decorations the perfect family just makes me feel and so inferior and brings me back to childhood which was miserable. I would be very interested in how others deal with this because my therapist did not give me answers that I felt were helpful.