Hi Carmina, I can relate to that. It may be how you were raised, and of course culture (I am British too - we tend to down play). Growing up the worst we could do was 'boast' or be 'bigheaded' and while those are not nice things to do we can give ourselves compassion.

Take my work scenario, a customer was frustrated, she tore a strip off me and my attempts to rectify the situation did not work, so I fell silent and let her finish (that is actually what we are told to do).

I have underlying self esteem issues, it was almost automatic of me to self blame but I stood back and rationalised the situation. I had actually handled it quite well, and Starry is quite right she had a screaming toddler which is where her anger was likely coming from she couldn't shout at him but she could at me.

It's kind of reframing, and although that aggression directed at me made me feel sick to my stomach I am not self blaming but seeing the whole situation as it was and being compassionate to myself.

We can change the way we think and for me it is a process, I slip up sometimes, but the upward trend is positive and posting here helps solidify that.

Kristen Neff has some helpful videos if you care to Google them.