Not a single thing you said is dumb. I have yet to introduce myself and am still new here. I’m still very apprehensive of sharing. Bt I will say something I have learned and tell myself every time I have my “moments”

Death may seem like the ultimate fix or a quick solution to my short term issues; however, that’s what any mental illness wants. Unnatural death is it’s victory. So while I know I am weak against its punches sometimes, I have far too much pride to let that pos beat me. If you loose a battle, learn from it. Write down the trigger, write down your thoughts (don’t b.s. yourself!) be brutally honest and accept it as a starting point. Realizing you could be in a gutter rn.

I fear the same thing, I truly do. I sometimes feel psycho because in my moments I’m able to disconnect and not care about my destruction.

Thank you for your share, it’s comforting to know I’m not alone. I hope you have a wonderful night and can relax [emoji1365]