I have a question for you all. I have been on medication since age 17, I have never been without it in 8 years. I've been told that treatment works better for me than for other people. I wonder if this is because I've never stopped taking my medication. I read somewhere that if you treat early and prevent severe symptoms that the likelihood of episodes is lower along with severity. Basically if you get help early you are easier to treat, the medication works better. Do you believe this? Sometimes I want to test it (I won't). How bad does it really get without medication. I've had break through symptoms occasionally and occasionally they have gotten bad but a change in medication soothes them. What would happen without them? What kind of crazy would I actually be? I already have psychotic symptoms occasionally. Would I end up hospitalized? I wonder if this treatment is preventing a proper diagnosis. What if it works so well I appear much better than I really am without it? It is a weird and frightening thought and I won't test it out but still I wonder. I'm young but if I decide to have children I would likely be going off of medication. Makes me think I shouldn't have children. Adoption would never get approved for me I'm sure... so like I'd have to go through hell for a year to have children. I can't imagine being a good parent either. If I can't maintain friendships and barely manage along with my own health and wellbeing how could I do that with a child. Sounds so stressful. Anyway side note here is an update for those that are listening, if anyone is keeping track.

Update:
So, day 1 of seroquel 300 had me knocked out for 10 hours and then I woke up and slept for another 4. (had to call in sick because of nausea and weakness)

Day 2 I slept for 11 hours, I'm awake and feel fine. Score! Now If I can get back to 9 hours I will be set. If I drop sleep by 3 hours each night until therapeutic sleep level I will be set by tonight. Do you think it will work that way? I hope so.

I'm glad its not consuming my whole day. I expected to wake up at like 11 today but I got up at my alarm time.

Satisfied that no symptoms are present and my sleep is getting back to normal (not 4 hours but not 14).

The pleasures of modern medicine at work.