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Old Dec 01, 2017, 02:17 PM
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Aliceiw Aliceiw is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Corvallis
Posts: 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by palsera27 View Post
I'm a quiet person. Like, extremely quiet. I just don't like to talk that much except with a few very close friends then I talk and laugh a lot. Maybe I'm shy around strangers, but the problem isn't shyness it's the lack of talking. Of course with the exception of work I talk to people because I’m in customer service

I’ve had so many instances of people telling me how quiet I am and then they imply that it makes them uncomfortable. My question is why? I don't mind sitting in total silence, with strangers or with friends, but most people find this awkward.

When I went to visit some relatives, they had friends over and we were gathered around eating. There was conversation going on but I didn't talk that much except to answer some questions or make some brief comments. One of the guests mentioned how funny it is that some people don't talk. He was of course, implicating me. Not once did he did this, but twice!

It occurred to me that what was perfectly normal to me, was so inexplicable to someone else. I didn't do anything or say anything bad about these people, but for some reason my silence really offends them.

At first I thought maybe some people are just talkative, or get bored easily. But I think perhaps the majority of people don't feel comfortable around quiet people? My question is why? Why do people HAVE to talk.


I'm a fellow introvert and I think I have a few reasons for why people think this way.
-Sometimes they think you are silently judging them.
-Sometimes they think you don't like them or what they have to say.
-Sometimes they think you think you are better than them.
-sometimes they think that you are not interested in anything they are saying.
-sometimes they think that you have nothing in common

All of these can lead to hurt feelings or annoyance.

I've found that, "that's interesting" followed by a question will help because you've shown interest but you aren't the one who is talking, usually they take over if you ask questions. They don't have to be long ones or particularly interesting ones.
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