Medication side effects are a huge problem for a lot of people, they are really limiting and feel like chains on you living your life. I have been lucky in that the side effects are generally mild for the ones that work. I have had bad side effects in the past where I felt ill, vomiting, shaking. Some sent me dysphoric and agitated. However, I've never been off of them and the reason why is honestly I'm scared. I've seen what happens when they don't work or the dose isn't high enough, I remember being 16 without meds. My life goes up in flames. I would rather go along my day, making progress in my career, holding relationships, and not feeling all around wild.

I questioned my disorder many times but the evidence should be what happens when you don't take it. Sometimes, I've seen that people have to hit rock bottom and sometimes multiple times before they accept the disorder and stay the medication course.

I will suggest that maybe you need to try out some new meds or new cocktail of meds. You might find you have less side effects. I'd also suggest slowly increasing until symptoms go away and not big slams of harsh drugs. In addition, too many meds can be problematic and do more harm than good. I think three is usually recommended but sometimes people do well with more, its a personal thing.

Anyway we all are here for you, supporting you whether you choose meds or not. Sending hugs!