My husband has a pillow shaped like a football. You could take something like that and "threaten" him with it? LOL

Not showing up does get one's T wondering what is going on but doesn't "show" anything because they can't know what's going on because you don't tell them! I think T's try not to assume stuff and sometimes that's why we get angry with them, we find stuff "obvious" but that's because it's ours.