It depends on which T and how upset I am. Ex-T and current marriage counselor allow outside contact with no charge, so I tend to let them know by e-mail, text, or phone (in ascending order of level of upset--like if I'm extremely upset, it's the phone, but that's rare). I've found it's better for me not to sit on it, because then it festers in my head and gets worse. I mean, yeah, there are advantages to learning to "sit with the anxiety," and sometimes I do that. But there's also something to be said for resolving things instead of agonizing about them.

Current T charges for e-mail/text/phone over a certain amount of time, so that acts as a deterrent. Though I've really only been upset with him once (it's only been 3 months though...), and I did text him that time because it was over a financial misunderstanding (him charging me for an e-mail that I hadn't expected him to charge me for). We had a brief text exchange about it (no charge!), then later that night I felt worse about it and contacted him to ask if we could talk (willing to pay fee). He said he'd rather talk in person, so he offered me a half session the next day, at which we worked things out and had some other helpful discussion.

At first I was bothered by his charge for any nonscheduling outside communication that takes longer than 15 minutes. But now I sort of understand the benefits of meeting in person to talk it out--or at least by phone--having had my share of e-mail or text exchanges with ex-T or MC that have left me more upset and then taken more time to resolve--or a total lack of response, which made me feel worse than if I hadn't reached out at all.

So...I suggest, if you're really upset, phone call (if allowed) or possibly meeting sooner to talk it out. E-mail or text can sometimes help, but sometimes make it worse, so it's a tossup--and probably depends on how responsive your T is to outside contact and how good they are expressing themselves in text/e-mail.