Thanks Perna for your reply. I always value and appreciate your insights.

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I don't hide anything from my husband concerning "us".

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I think that makes for a healthy marriage. the thing is...... it seems blurry to me if a client starts feeling "connected" in a sexual way with their therapist..... how is that different than a husband that flirts and talks sexual with a woman co-worker? is it not an emotional affair? It's confusing to me..........

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I don't think feelings are public property

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Yeah, I agree they aren't public property..... however, if it's a feeling that could drive a wedge in a marriage-- shouldn't that be discussed? within the marriage?

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But loving someone, of any sex, is not a bad thing. We love our father's and may have sexual fantasies of movie stars, etc. but no counts them as "wrong" because they're not acted on in real time.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I think I understand...... perhaps "love" is a difficult concept for me......

So, it can be healthy to love someone else while married, as long as sex or the desire of it is not included in the feeling........ or.... it's OK to think of having sex with your co-worker just not to act on it....... so it's OK to love your therapist and think of having sex just don't act on it........ even when one is married? hmmmmmmm..... maybe this is not a one size fits all kind of thing..... maybe some women would be OK with their husband flirting and getting all excited over another female-- not me.

I dont' think I'd care to accept that it's OK if my husband had fantasies about his therapist, and openly expressed them to his therapist but not to me, fantasies of a sexual nature with the female therapist-- somehow it diminishes my value as his partner-- don't you think?

wonder if I'm making any sense.... I'm trying hard to understand........

mandy