I've felt like this for a long time now -when I was unstable and now that I'm stable. I crave hypomania like a drug. This is the main reason why I occasionally long to stop all my meds. The only reason I don't is out of fear: fear that I'll get depressed instead of hypo, fear that even if I were to get hypo, it would turn into mania.

I go through periods of feeling numb and this makes the cravings all the worse. Socially I often feel boring, when I would be the life of the party when hypo and at the least not boring when not hypo (meds, anyone?). Ugh, if only one could be hypo but be able to control it at will so you don't do something embarrassingly irrevocable or go on to full blown mania and, in my case, delusions.