I have been sexually abused, i have been beaten many times as a child spit on been told i was hated, been told by parents they were ashamed of me, had my fave books or toys ripped in front of me.

These things i never forgot i forgave who did them but it still hurts when i think about it. Will it always hurt? I have been on therapy for a while, i want electric shock done i heard our memories go. Those childhood painful memories a lot resulted in extreme low self esteeem. But my parents had no childhood and abusive horrible much worse parents themselves so i cannot blame them. They thought they were doing right.

I never got a sorry, once i got a sorry my dad said i made his life hell i lost it and screamed then why give birth to me? he said sorry that time. But i have said sorry so many times i lost count. I dont think parents even remember. Just memories hurt.

Been betrayed by friends i loved the most who left me when i needed them most i keep having dreams about some and i wish i did not. I am going to seek a spiritilist or witch to help me with this i think.