Start researching it on like...page 10 or 30 of google. A recurring algorithm will put it in the animal area....you want sexual imprinting regarding humans which will branch into sexual fetishism.

So you state you’re not leaving him or this. Have you heard the same statement in reverse, from him? That if you cannot participate in this, he will stay with you? I’m not being devil’s advocate here, I just need to know where this person stands.

You also state that you don’t wanto harm him. So are you also stating that you do not wanto work thru this trigger with him? If so why? I know there’s flashbacks....but there must be other circumstances. Is this a Pandora’s box that you’re not ready to unpack with this individual?
Have you both also talked about being in an open relationship bec, just to me, this might be the best direction to explore where everyone’s needs are met.

We’re not sunk yet people!! There’s still wiggle room & Artchic if this is something you seriously want, changes can be made. It’ll be hard, but you both need to work together.

What does he say about all this?