Things are going less well again, at night I dream I have family and friends, and we go on adventures together and do amazing fun stuff. Then, when I wake up it's just me again.

I wish I could stay awake without getting tired, or just go to sleep and never wake up again.

I wish I had family, real family, that I could come home to and go out adventuring and experiencing the world with. I'm so lonely.

And I try to meet new people but I can't relate to the vast majority of them which just makes me more lonely.

In my lifetime I've only come accross two people I can relate to and they both ended up leaving because of me. I am so lonely and so tired.

I'm getting older, it's getting harder to find people because most people my age or older already have their own people. And what if I luckily happen to find someone I relate to again? Then what? What do I do to make them not leave? If I keep myself distant they will leave, if I get close they will leave. How do I build a family if nobody stays?

I'm so lonely.