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I don't share everything about my therapy with my spouse but I share a lot when I can. I also don't share every single thought I have with him. Yet, we are a closely attached, committed married couple.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Yeah, I suppose it's not necessary to share EVERYTHING.... but that you do share and even "a lot" seems to me to be a good thing. Your marriage sounds wonderfully compassionate-- (if you don't mind me saying so)

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The way I understand erotic transference is to understand that it's a normal outgrowth of attachment. And the attachment with our first "love"--our mothers--was erotic also. We wanted to be "one" with her; the way we were in the womb.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Gee, I've never had it explained that way, thank you. makes much sense if one never got that "first" mother love, that such transference might occur....

I can see now where it MIGHT be helpful for someone to have this occur(not all though, as not everyone has this issue) but it seems it would only be beneficial if the therapist helps the client to see that this is from the "child's mind" and that the therapist will be in the role of the healthy parent- at this time........

though, I think it's still a bit foggy for me....... I do appreciate your reply...... it's helped me understand a little more.

mandy