Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael W. Harris
I have a hard time understanding why my symptoms do not exhibit like many of yours do.
I have no co-consciousness. But I have had some recovered memories of myself in this other state. I know that my alters, or at least the primary one, have attitudes about me similar to the attitudes that my Mother and Brother had toward me. Basically my feelings were never a consideration in my Mother's and Brother's minds. I am fairly sure that my alters feel toward me exactly like my Mother and Brother did. I did not matter to them or, I should say, my emotional and psychological well fair was not a concern for my Mom and she passed this attitude on to my Brother.
I am thinking that this plays a major role in why there is no co-consciousness in my system. I know that they are there but they do not seem to come out much. But they can manipulate me in a billion ways just like my Mother and Brother did and seem to enjoy making me self-destruct.
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I had very little co consciousness. my treatment providers called it limited co consciousness. I had alters like you describe. in me those alters were called introjects. they were very similar to my DID alters but a bit different. they did not have to take over to cause me problems. I could hear their voices, knew how they were feeling, and remember what they did when they were in control. my introject alters took on the role of being the abusers with me, saying and doing acting like what my abusers did/ were.
the treatment I was on for the introjects was the same as having an abusive DID alter.... therapy, countering negative with positives, taking my meds as prescribed, ... the usually therapy stuff that works for things like ptsd, depression, anxiety,.... in other words nothing special beyond whats normally done for any mental disorders.eventually these introject alters just went away on their own because their sense of agency was was no longer needed. they didnt have to integrate/ merge together with me because I already had all the memories and so on that they had. like I said these introjects were different than my DID type of alters.
maybe your alters that you describe in your post are something like this where they are different than what most people have for alters so when you try and compare yours to everyone elses its different.
there is also dissociation doesnt look the same in everyone. example my DID alters were different from yours in general because you did not get abused in a mine shaft like I did, you dont have the same life that I have, you dont have the same health issues that I have....
my point.... my alters were there based on what abuses I went through as a child, what childhood trauma's I went through, what my body and mind needed to survive. your alters and system are set up in what ever ways you and your body/ mind needed to survive.
there is more to this but it gets really technical like how alters are created, how the brain works and so on, that your own treatment provider can explain to you directly related to you and your alters/ system.