Life has gone very dark for me these last few months, and everything has been a real struggle. As I said in my post last night asking for hello's, T1 is very busy expanding her practice, and is not present like she used to be. T2, long story short, kicked me out without even allowing me a last session, after we had a disagreement about my care plan. T2 was the only place I felt so much love and care, and it's a huge loss. What makes it worse is that she only lives a mile down the road from me, so even my TOWN is a trigger. Will I run into her anywhere? Has she been here? Etc.

So, regarding my reason for posting this.... Just in this last week, I've nearly killed myself or someone else while losing control of my car on the road, twice. I'll be going down a long country road (I had a purpose for going wherever I was going), and it seems like I dissociate...and when I come to, for one example, I was hitting a corner way too fast, ended up skidding through both lanes to regain control, etc. The other time, it seemed "out of nowhere" a car in front of me was stopped to turn left, and I had to swerve through the gravel to avoid hitting this car at 60 mph.

I'm more depressed than I can come up with words for right now, I'm very preoocupied, my mind is FULL of junk constantly. And I feel very alone. So this post is asking about dissociation....for those who have this problem, does it become as serious as this? I'm trying to now avoid longer drives alone, especially after dark, to avoid this.