Sigh. Yes, she's 13, but.... She does need to learn to be respectful and help out. Maybe she needs to be told the spoiling days are over and now that she's a young lady instead of a child she needs to learn to start having responsibilities. And have consequences when she doesn't follow through. It'll be hard for her to see the rules have changed, though. Best wishes! Emphasize that you do love her. She'll certainly test the limits. Rewards for good behavior every so often will help, methinks.

I think it would help, too, if she knows in advance she's expected to help out at things like a sale and that the money earned is yours--not hers to help herself to without asking. (Did you sell some of her things, though?)

I feel for you. I hear dealing with teenage daughters as a mother is a major challenge. (I had two boys, so I can't speak to the issue from personal experience.) I think I might have done a bit differently with the food situation--talking about her being wasteful, but sharing more--but I can understand how you felt.