I don't know that she is going through what you go through. You have a whole scenario going on in your head that has no basis in "reality" because you have nothing to check it with. So far, you're mostly just putting yourself through more turmoil? She plainly wants to know why you didn't show up at a meeting that you agreed to show up at But I doubt she's speculating on the reasons, she will wait to hear from you your reasons (or call you back). You aren't hurting her in any way, only yourself.