In a word: Fellowship. I would like a format whereby we take turns talking about how we are managing. Then we could interact supportively. I would like some sponsors whom I could call to say, "I haven't been out of bed yet today." and they could, maybe, agree to meet me for coffee, if I get up. (I don't want to call just anyone with that problem. I want to have someone to call who knows what it's like to be too depressed to get up and get dressed.) Maybe we could call each other in the morning and offer mutual "wake-up calls."

We could have study groups with our own version of a Big Book, whereby one week we discuss the importance of getting up and getting dressed. Another week we discuss the chapter on hygiene and grooming. (My problem is depression, as you can tell by what topics interest me. Maybe not every person with psych issues could relate to those topics. Maybe groups would need a diagnosis-specific focus.)

What I'm not looking for is someone to be an audience for my tale of how much sorrow I've experienced. I've had sorrows. I assume everyone has. And some have experienced tragedy of the highest order. (I would not claim that for myself.) But I think that therapy, as it is typically done, infantilizes people. (When it's not brutalizing them.) Clients want some T to tell them that it was just terrible how their parents or siblings treated them. Yes, we are products of our rearing and a lot of that was pretty screwed up. Yeah, I'm in favor of sharing those stories. But therapy is me figuring out what I have to do now. In AA and in Al-Anon, they discourage "taking other people's inventory." Too much of current therapy is "Let's talk on and on and on about what a miserable guy my dad was, or what a narcissist my mom was . . . . and how my inadequacies are Not My Fault . . . . because just look at the abuse that I was subjected to." If I'm mainly talking about the faults of other people in my life, then I'm not working on ME.

I am fascinated by people's family histories. They have gone a long ways toward making us who we are. I envision a peer support group where we unveil that stuff and have compassion for each other's stories. But what was was. I believe we talk about what we're doing now that isn't working for us and how we are going to change that.

Psychotherapy, as much of it is practiced, seems based on the idea that the client has a riddle to be solved: "Let's examine how your unfolding of your potential was sabotaged by those lousy parents of yours, or that perverted brother of yours because that is how you work through it. Then, with that insight into how you were damaged, let's get you a whole new, better life." I say, yeah, let's definitely visit that stuff, but merely doing that will get you nothing. I conclude that this is how many therapists are wasting people's time by how many psych consumers I hear saying that "My T explained to me how victimized I was." And that's what they mainly want to dwell on.

I think we need to be "working a program" about how we are going to live in the here and now. A practical program. About what do we need to do today, and let's spur each other on. Let's lay out what a healthy life includes and look at what I need to do this week to have that in my life.

I'ld like to belong to some sort of group where we talk about that.