I have a real problem both with living in the past and imagining this great future. Both are great places to spend time but I find myself not making any real effort to create a good future for myself. I live day by day in a stagnant lifestyle that makes me hate myself but not enough to overcome the inertia of actually making a positive change. I don't know how to get out of this rut and worse yet I don't know if I have the strength to do it.