So sorry you're in a mixed episode. It is such a dark state of mind to be in.

I am in a mixed episode as well, and you described it well when you said you can't decide whether to be "revved up" or exhausted. I am on Seroquel, Lamictal, Klonopin, and Gabapentin currently. They were helping, but no longer.

Have you had any major life stresors? I was already starting to feel mixed, and then when a major life trigger occurred, it threw me into a tailspin. Even without triggers, I've had multiple mixed episodes. I wish I had good advice. Just keep reaching out for support, stay connected with your pdoc, self-care the most that you are capable of.
Feel free to message me, if you feel you need to talk, or keep posting.