After she told me about the personal situation that was going on, I felt that there were two other people in our sessions - in the room with the therapist and myself. I would start our sessions asking how things were and if everything was okay. It became difficult for me to focus on myself until I learned that there was a possibility she would move out-of-state. I was going to have my own emotional response to the situation as a patient eventually. Did I lash out? Yes. Could I have done it differently? Yes. I had four days to calm down before I would talk to her again, but I couldn't; I needed to get it out the way it did. Was I expected to be considerate the entire time and not have any negative feelings in response to the situation? I also did warn her that I had some hateful and angry thoughts towards her family and that I wasn't sure if I should exprrss them.

She said that if they are that angry, then all the more should I express what was on my mind. I also did pause during my angry rant to check in on her if I could carry on. She also said that you're saying insulting things about "MY children." Why does it matter whose children it is - hers or someone elses - when it's the situation to which I was emotionally responding to and she has a duty to be neutral and professional and keep her personal feelings outside our session? Yes; things were raw for her and she is human after all.

I think that a good therapist who has it together would not have said or retaliated the way she did. But she is only human after all. She also said that I was saying some things that made it very difficult for her to empathize with me. I don't think it's fair for her to blame her response on me. On the one hand, it is true that humans have a tendency to react defensively when someone is speaking angrily to them. Maybe it's even a fight or flight response. On the other hand, she also had the choice of being a professional and the mature one and maintaining her composure. It's not fair for her to blame it all on me. In fact, sometimes a person speaking angrily can make it easier for us to understand or empathize with that person. I think that both of us have a share of responsibility in this.

If she can't handle how her personal situation would affect an emotional response in me, then she shouldn't have invited me to say what was on my mind. I did give her a heads up after all. So again, I am sorry for lashing out the way that I did to her as a human being, but not so to her as the therapist.

As difficult as it is, if she continues to be unable to see how it is the thought of her moving out-of-state in and of itself that was distressing for me, then there's no basis for is to carry on this therapeutic relationship. If she can't take some responsibility for reacting unprofessionally and wants to blame it all on me making it difficult for her to empathize with me, then I think that there's also no basis for us to carry on working together. I have already stood up and owned my part; she needs to do the same.