Yeah, i kinda agree with this - you cant have your cake and eat it too. I think the client should take some responsibility for encroaching upon boundaries beforehand.

Its who you are - you were sensitive to her nuances - thats okay. She made the decision not to stonewall you early on. Thats okay too. But i dont think its fair NOW to say, "well a REAL t with PROFESSIONAL boundaries wouldnt have blah blah blah." Thats not the t i presume you wanted, because you poked at the boundaries. You make them leaky. Again, i think thats okay.

My boundaries with my t are a bit leaky. The good news is, i think you can repair them with a t easier than you can a regular human.

I do want to say to the OP, youve done an excellent job of describing all the nuances (sorry to repeat the word, but i think it applies) of what happened and what you felt.

What i see happening now is, can you apologize and feel that the t really thinks its okay? And that is more about you than her. Can YOU feel forgiven? My family would hold a grudge FOREVER. For my t to forgive me was a whole new thing. And its not that THIS incident is so important. Its that, can you forgive - or be forgiven by - anyone in your life? Cuz having always to be right can be a lonely life. I. E., whats the big picture here?