Hiya @ Noonelistens

Thankfully, I've not experienced much resistance from my younger sisters because both know I will not tolerate insubordination, so they have always been respectful to me, to Mum and my partner.

Find a quiet moment to take your daughter aside. You need to assert yourself and discipline her for her unpleasantness and appalling behaviour.

Where punishment becomes most effective is the temporary confiscation of her phone, since most 13 year olds are virtually glued to them, its seizure will make her realise you are not going to tolerate her walking all over you again.

I hope your daughter doesn't, but if she verbally lashes out at you, stand firm. Hurtful words from children though distressing and often painful, bounce back when you make a stand against her tirade. The more she rants, the longer you keep her phone you tell her. Explain that nasty behaviour will no longer be tolerated by you, so in time your tougher stance will wear her down to become more amenable.

Face your daughter; stand or sit, but don't use dismissive gestures. Be sure you have a pleasant, but serious facial expression and keep your voice calm and soft, not abrasive. Sounding firm, don't get pulled into arguing or trying to explain your reason. This lets you ignore any manipulation your daughter may inflict and stand firm against any baiting remarks.

Then walk away to allow her to cool down. She may retaliate, but walk away so as not give her opportunity. Your daughter may continue her rebellion, but she will lessen her hardened attitude the more you ignore her, until asserting yourself again if need be, but when she shows willing, then give her a small reward as it will encourage her for being more respectful to you.

Do let me know how you get on. A pm is always welcome as I'll receive notification.

All the best,
Julie