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Tact really isn't your strong suit, is it? LOL!

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No, actually, it is not.

Being misunderstood, too, is also something I deal with alot.

I am not looking to argue with you. I, like KimmyDawn, experienced my father's death, very much like you are now.

I had not seen my father in 13 years. My mother called me when he was on his death bed to come home, and I did. When I got there, I had to deal with 2 sisters and a brother who all thought that "what should be done" with my father in his last days was directly against what HE and my mother wanted. (Father didn't want to die in hospital; mother alreay had the appropriate care set up for him at home so this could be done).

They fought like cats and dogs in front of him. One of my sisters went home because she was really pissed. Another sister left because my mother and I would not agree to have him transfered to a hospital. My brother was angry at all of us and was getting tired of having to help lift my father so we could keep him as comfortable as possible (That ticked me off because he was a weight-lifter, for God's sake!) and, of course, he was angry at all of us.

Although my father was not quite conscious of what was going on, I do believe he felt the tension. I made it a point to tell him over and over that he was not going to be transferred to any hospital - that he would remain in his home. I also told him (on the advise from a religious friend of my mother's) that it was ok to let go; that we would ALWAYS take care of my mother; that she would NEVER be left alone. He passed away less than 24 hours after I spoke with him.

In the end, it was only my mother, brother and I who were with him when he passed away.

To this day, one sister has never returned. The other sister comes only at x-mas. My brother is a little better and spends most of mom's religious holidays with her. I am the only one who has honoured the committment to take care of my mother when she needs it.

So, although you do not think I understand what you are going through, I truly can.

And I can only respond to your posts to the extent of what information you provide.

I will certainly admit that what you had written triggered me. Believe it or not, I truly "felt" for you and what was / is happening, and I responded only to what information you chose to reveal.

And although it was unrealistic of me to think that I could somehow "change" things for you, I truly believe that feelings can and do alter our actions and reactions.

For example, look at how my feelings caused me to react to what you wrote...

LMo, my intentions were not to pick a fight. My intentions were only to help you redirect your attention to your father.

Obviously, I failed miserably. I am probably failing miserably this time as well.

Inspite of all this, please accept my apologies and know that your father and your family are in my prayers.