I think it's difficult to believe in a loving God when you go through trauma. Also, it's so hard to believe you can trust him when your parents or other significant people betrayed you.
I personally would like to go to church and receive the sacraments however I can't force myself because of anxiety and social issues.
I considered this a huge problem and felt it was a sin as I "know the truth but reject it". After talking with my therapist I was able to think rationally about this... I hope this sense of relief will stay with me as spirituality is something that I keep struggling with.