I don't think it's necessarily fair to drummergirl to treat her like she was trying to attack pink or her T. I think she was only trying to point out that she saw what in her mind might be warning signs. Maybe she's totally wrong about that T, but she didn't say what she said with malicious intent.

At the same time, I think that pink's T made it clear that he would not cross her boundaries when he said "nothing you don't want- or do want - is going to happen." Honestly, when I read the first part of that sentence, and knowing he had said the "L word" and has made some other contacts that are less than routine (ae: randomly calling to check on her), I was a little concerned that maybe he would put the moves on pink, too. But when I read the "nothing you DO want" part, I was reassured.

Basically, all I'm saying is that I think pink is safe with her T and that her reaction to wanting to protect and defend this person who has loved and cared for her so well, is very natural. So was drummergirl's well-meaning observation/warning.

We are all at different levels in our vigilance/hypervigilance, and we are all here to care for and support one another. It's basically impossible to view ANY situation without the lens of your own emotions and experiences, although we certainly do our best. No harm was meant, and I don't think all the arguing about it is really necessary.

Both pink and drummergirl (and pink's kind wonderful T) are doing the best they can, and they all seem to be fine ppl to me.

Just my two cents.

Sweet/Angela