I'm so impressed with the growth and directness in this update. It is like you told her hey, I am willing to do the work, but you have to support me and not leave me without a net. Since that didn't come quickly enough and you don't trust it, you then decided you can't allow yourself to be highjacked into intolerable suffering, not matter what she wants. I hope she sees it as good boundaries and not acting out. I think if you want to treat trauma, you have to encounter your patients when they are despairing. Part of the package.

I am in the ballpark of here too, in the sense of an epiphany that is I push the pace to please my T, then I am going to suffer anguish and insomnia while he sleeps like a baby . However, he is attentive to this and wants to help "make it stop". He took it down about 100 notches the last few sessions, and right away I can feel my trust that he cares rebound and my level of unrelenting anguish calm down.