I have very weird memory of something happening to me when I was four year old. When I had tried to explained to my mom what had happen one late night my mom didn't believe me. But my sister said it was a dream that I had and it had never happen she insisted that it didn't happen. As I got older in my early thirty my uncle had attempted to raped me and my sister who I had told didn't believe me because our uncle had never done to her. When he admitted what he had done he had apologized but still blamed me for his action. He had told my sister that I was making him nervous because of how I had talk to him even though he had asked me question. It all started with him asking me if I wore my clothes for him? He would stared at me as if he was undressing me. He said that back in his time in the thirty and forty that how guy act around girls. My sister said that it was my fault because I had talk to him and had made him nervous to be around. My sister had allowed her best friend of twenty years to allow someone who she was babysitting who is severely mentally retarded, severely mentally autism, who is physically, emotionally and sexually abusive toward people. I had survived an attempt raped by a severely mentally retarded teenager during the holidays because of something my sister had allowed her friend who had allowed the mentally ill teenager to do. When I join a support group of survivor I was told that I didn't know what I was talking about.

I still feel dirty. I don't try to anyone to touch me because of what had happen to me.