Well, one of my abusers died a year ago this month. I didn't hate him but often had nightmares where he was involved in holding me captive and other more lurrid details. I had stopped having those dreams about three years ago and now these past few weeks have been filled with them. Always same themes too.

Part of it is that I dream I am being blamed and accused for what has happened and I am trying to defend my innocence. That is a big current theme in my life right now with me personally due to real life issues. I feel like I wear a sign on me that says go ahead and screw me everyone else does. Easy target I guess.

So the dreams are troubling. The whole thing about being accused of doing bad things in real life has flared the PTSD stuff. It seems like a vicious circle.

Help?