Yes, I fought forever for good pain management and now that I had it I am removing myself. Actually have w/drawn from neurontin and from the methadone. That said I take methadone PRN. Last three days not good at site of old back fracture. Need to rest reclined more and take tylenol regularly to help get under control.

It feels kinda like I am shooting self in foot but here is the thing.s

1. When I take meds as prescribed and have some intense new pain such as the sciatica when it got unbearable a few months back I had to use the ER which I detest. I detest that 10 plus pain even more. So the hope is to have meds enough on hand to kick the pain w/out hospital.

2. I am tired of being vulnerable to doc's whims and moods. One doc told me to double on meds and primary would not give more after fall bout so I ended up needing to miss doses.

3. The combination of all the meds has made me gain a LOT of weight despite my terrible habit of not eating.

4. I feel sharper now.

I am doing herbs and vits and am drinking a lot of water and am even starting to eat at least 2x per day. It is funny that now that I have been eating, about 5 days, I feel hunger and I never have felt hunger much. Think I turned that off as a child.

I had a car accident in summer, totalled vehicle and it was due to sleepiness. I feel more alert now.

Pain in my back is coming back, it's been four hours since last methadone. But pain seems more bearable to me, even if it's a 6 now I am not worried because I know I can take whatever I need to to make it stop. Make sense?

I wish I had money for accupuncture and massage. Bummer.