It's interesting to see how much complexity I've been going through as now my mind is a bit more clear.
Could this be the form of my depression? A complex of issues not taken care of.
We never deserve this.

Yesterday I had some productive self-talk. I thought of what could be behind people who fall to anxiety, depression or other forms of mental illnesses. I was wondering if it has to do with corporations of earlier times, where perhaps managers/bosses/supervisors would put a limit to how much emotions are being expressed due to the need to get things done. Because of the top people's personal hunger for resources, people at the bottom would get whipped to produce more outcome for more and more money, further conquering the world for it.
Those untouched from the whipping would probably be more emotionally healthy, hence being able to be much stronger providers for children.
So when I see people who for some reason "seem to have it all figured out for them" or "things going easy for them", I begin to ponder if it has to do with corporations of past times leading to this. Perhaps that figured-out person's father is a manager at work, who can express his anger more freely and hence be more purified of anger when coming home, then being able to provide better for the children.

This seems dark when I write this, but it gives me a clarity. It could also mean that "successful individual"'s father could have been one to give my own father a nightmare. Or give a nightmare to anyone's father.
Ouch.