What I hear the most from the OP, in between the lines, is a current of guilt, shame & a need for an explanation.
Has all this effected your current life or sexuality? Has it made an impact on your sexuality?
If you think you would’ve known, but can’t, would it help or hinder where you are today?
Asking someone else in the family their opinion opens you up to memory placements which are extremely suggestive & not always true.

And as far as kinks...lol have you read about the Roman Empire & their sexual escapades? It’s VERY well documented even down to their individual grave markers!, their statues, monuments, written diaries etc. it’ll make even the crude blush!!