Quote:
Originally Posted by Rostou
One of the hardest things for me is how to respond to my long standing husband's negative reactions and ridicule and I would appreciate some ideas about this.
Today was the latest challenge on this and I didn't do well and I realized I'd better come back here after a long break and try again.
Basically what happens is that first, in a pleasant manner, I make a statement it seems he disagrees strongly with or that doesn't please him or I ask him to do something it seems from his reaction he doesn't feel like doing. Then he reacts, usually in a non-verbal & unfriendly way such as making a disgusted sound or, as it was tonight, throwing his head back in an exaggerated manner and making a charicature of ridiculing laughter.
I seem never to find the solution for how to deal with this and I need to. Can you help me solve this problem please?
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I should perhaps say more about this:
Today he called me a "piece of work" when I mentioned in a neutral manner that I needed him to contribute to our joint account to keep it in funds for when he is going to be away on a holiday. He went on to rage at me for a bit, angrily berating me.
One thing I am wondering is whether I should say something to name what he did as abusive and to say it isn't acceptable or whether I should just ignore what he said & go and do something else. I know there are various other options. But I am still confused by how to respond to his abuse and I tend to get upset and blank when he does it.
I've been with him for a long time & it never has been good for long. I don't know how I "survived" it this far and I am feeling as if I need to review everything & change what I can as I don't think I can take much more.