Quote:
Originally Posted by Rostou
I should perhaps say more about this:
Today he called me a "piece of work" when I mentioned in a neutral manner that I needed him to contribute to our joint account to keep it in funds for when he is going to be away on a holiday. He went on to rage at me for a bit, angrily berating me.
One thing I am wondering is whether I should say something to name what he did as abusive and to say it isn't acceptable or whether I should just ignore what he said & go and do something else. I know there are various other options. But I am still confused by how to respond to his abuse and I tend to get upset and blank when he does it.
I've been with him for a long time & it never has been good for long. I don't know how I "survived" it this far and I am feeling as if I need to review everything & change what I can as I don't think I can take much more.
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i've been married a 2nd time for 32 years; for me, i would never allow my husband to mock me or call me names, under any circumstances, nor would i even think about calling him names, etc. i'm guessing you've had it with his `comments' which you have probably allowed over time and i sense you no longer are willing to accept the comments. hubby and i have had a lot of counseling over the years (mainly about step-kids years ago) but in therapy we did learn how to communicate without hitting below the belt; maybe a session with a therapist might work, but regardless, we learned to keep our feelings in the `i' statement, i.e., `when you say i'm a piece of work' those statements make me feel unworthy and they really hurt me and i am asking that you not dismiss my feelings or mock me with facial expressions'....and i would keep hammering at him each time he mocks you by telling him how hurtful his statements/behavior are.....of course he'll respond that he was joking, and i would then explain that his jokes don't feel very good and they feel dismissive and hurtful. good luck.