For me, with my marriage counselor (for whom I have some strong transference), outside contact, like e-mailing or texting a fair amount, then apologizing, seeing if he'd still accept me and not tell me I had to stop. (He always still accepted it--would just say he couldn't always read or respond right away). Prying into his private life (he discloses a lot, but the stuff he didn't share, like about his wife's illness and eventual death). Sharing intense emotions with him, like, saying "If I love you, is that OK?" Also expressing anger at him, which is something I have great difficulty doing with people.

He said the testing thing is normal--that kids do it with their parents as a normal part of development. Like, "Will you still love me if I do this? Yes? What about if I do/say that?" So of course it makes total sense that if I have paternal transference for him, I'm going to test him, too... I think this is a common thing in therapy in general, particularly since many in therapy have attachment issues (myself included), generally from childhood.