I'm concerned, SorryShaped.

Can't you ask your t for an emergency session?

It doesn't sound like you've been honest with the t, if they think your actions are fine.

Why shouldn't you be OK?

Other people are. But you're convinced you don't deserve it.

Read back over your recent replies to other members who are struggling.

See how patient and articulate and kind you are?

Every word you said to them also applies to you. Please find a way to turn that kindness on yourself.