I miss certain aspects....mostly when I was too young to remember all the crap one is faced with as you get older. My mom was harsh, but I know her heart was in the right place. I had nice holidays as a child and miss playing with toys, carefree, although I had anxiety back then as well. It was before all this manic depression, where signs started around age 9-10, then it hit me like a ton of bricks at age 15. I was good at gymnastics, dance, and ice skating as a young child and am thankful that my mother gave me that opportunity at least. I had friends back then. Now, I am so out of touch. I think I always had an introverted streak, and now it is more apparent as I am older, although I can "trick" people into thinking I am more extroverted than in reality. I feel like a shell of myself sometimes now. It's depressing.

Now, I am babbling, but in a nutshell, I do miss childhood, from age 3-10, especially. I had some fun moments in high school with certain friends, where we embraced each others' weirdness and would vent to one another and be supported as needed, but there were some really awful times as well.

I do miss my ex-fiance, who I met at 17. We became involved romantically a little later. We had a beautiful relationship for 8 years, until things went terribly wrong. I do miss that stage in my life, where he kind of brought me out of a dark time, although he did have to go through my episodes with me. It was nice to have someone who loved me.