When she was of an age did you offer her college or try to get her to go?

I know families often have routines and ideas about college long before. My husband helped his sons but they had to work a summer job and part-time during school and if they needed additional, he'd supply it. He worked his way almost completely through school; I think when he had to live in an apartment during part of that time, he explained to his father that his father could pay $50 or my husband could live at home, his choice My father-in-law gladly paid the $50 a month (of course, this was late 1960's prices).

In my family my father paid for my stepsister's and my college, one brother went to a service academy and another enlisted and later the military paid for his degree. But I was 28 or 29 when I found out I needed braces on my teeth and I paid for them, cashing in my new little 401K I had at the time to pay the down payment. I'm still very proud of that taking care of myself.

Does your son-in-law know she's trying to blackmail you? I would think he would be embarrassed and have something to say about it.