yes everyone is right,...i am reaching out for help...im desperate for help....i want it so badly because i want to leave the hell im in...im here because i trust el squeelio so much and if she says im safe here i know i am....el squeelio i am clinging so so tightly to you...you have no idea..u are the only one i trust with all this pain....ur helping me so much and it means the world to me....to have someone to talk to who understands is a blessing...i hope i can get through this...i want to...i think i have a little bit of hope im holding onto so tightly and wont let go...i want to learn about dissociation so that it stops frightening me so much.....my mobile alarm is my life saver....ill do whatever it takes to heal...im going to a psychiatrist...im terrified...i don't know what to say...but i need help...coz i want to live...i want my life back...i want what i lost...i want what was stolen from me...
i don't ever want to see him again...or anyone who stood by and turned a blind eye...and that includes my mum....but the child in me loves her and needs her and wants her to protect me and keep me safe and over and over i give her one last chance adn she fails me again and again....its like i never learn but can't ever be strong enough and stand against her...she has more power over me than HE does....its all so scary....
i just want to feel safe...