((((((((((( Kathy )))))))))))

So sorry you and hubby kids had to go through that little tantrum. I can only imagine how difficult it was for you and TRM.

I know that a mother's love knows no boundaries. And because of that, it is difficult at times to put your foot down when a child is acting out, especially when we know that child has developmental or emotional issues.

Regardless of what your daughter's illness is, bad behavior is just plain that, bad behavior! In my eyes, the fact that she reacted as she did when she saw you and TRM and then completely stopped her bad behavior when the tutor in charge came into the picture and told her to stop tells me that she has learned how to push your buttons, as well as learned that her behavior is unacceptable but pushes it with you.

Sometimes a little "tough love" is in order on your part. I don't think there is anything wrong with telling your daughter that her behaviors are unacceptable and that she needs to find a way of controlling them around you. She has obviously learned how to control situations by acting out. There would be nothing wrong with you walking away from her when she acts out saying to her "until you can learn to control your behavior around me, I will have to walk away from you". And then, do it! No amount of arguing will ever change your situation hon.....it only escalates things. Calmly stating that to your daughter then following up on it will show her that you are serious, and that her behavior directly affects your interaction with her. Good behavior begets good interaction, bad behavior begets no interaction and most importantly, no emotion on your part. Does that make sense??

Maybe she will never "get" what you are trying to teach her. But it might be worth the try. And regardless if she gets it or not....you have to take good care of yourself and the rest of your family too. I know it's so hard to come to those terms in your mind...it hurts like crazy. But maybe it is necessary for the good of the many instead of dancing around the good of the one? I hope I am not sounding heartless here. That is not what I am meaning at all. My heart does so ache for what you are all going through and I'm sending you love and understanding.

xoxoxo
sabby