I'm scared of possibly going on Lithium or Depakote. My pdoc and I have spoken about these two meds in the past, but instead, I was put on high dose antipsychotics with highest dose Lamictal to avoid these drugs. I am meeting with her in a week to discuss these options, but she told me how she would consider either one of these when we spoke on the phone a few days ago.

What has been your experience with Lithium or Depakote?
Did it help? Did it made you feel awful? I also struggle with self-esteem issues and hope the side effects don't make me feel worse than the actual mixed episode or rapid cycling.

I want to make an informed decision if it comes to this. If I get a bad feeling, I might just tell her put me on high dose AP, because at least that is all familiar to me for the time being.

I hate that it has to come to this.