It's a tough spot that you describe...glad that you've found your way to psych central. Perhaps it is time to visit a therapist to sort out the feelings, or a university/vocational specialist to help you decide. You're very young yet, and from what you've written, appear to be doing quite well with your studies - maybe a break from schooling to give you time to step back and look at it all...put it into perspective? In the states, colleges and universities have counseling centers. Maybe the equivalent exists where you are? Best wishes to you.